Before we ban YouTube from our homes entirely, or store the iPad in a safe, let’s pause for a moment. There are many legitimate reasons to set limits on social media and internet access, but panic and fear aren’t among them.
As a practitioner of Positive Discipline, rewards are not part of my parenting toolbox. But even before I had ever heard of Positive Discipline or read Alfie Kohn’s Punished by Rewards, something about using rewards for motivation – even on myself – rubbed me the wrong way.
For many parents, the word “no” seems to be on a list of things their children aren’t allowed to say. Saying no to a parent or other authority figure might be labeled backtalk, disrespect, or defiance. But saying no is a powerful tool and a necessary life skill, and we should help our kids get really good at it.
Like racism, sexism, or ablism, childism is a prejudice against a marginalized group – in this case, children. It shows up in many ways, but one of the most prominent is our tendency to separate children from the rest of society.
When I ask parents what qualities and characteristics they hope to encourage in their children, kindness, generosity, and empathy are always included. So it makes sense that we should teach our kids to share, right?
Nothing makes a parent feel guiltier than reading articles with accusatory titles such as Kids Feel Unimportant to Cell Phone Addicted Parents, 12 Ways to Ensure Your Kid is More Important Than Your Phone, or Get Your Face Out of Your Phone, You’re a Horrible Mother (OK, I made up that last one).
Exposure to toxic masculinity starts early, in subtle ways that might not seem important. It’s in our words, our expectations, and what we say to and around our children.
My oldest son asks a lot of questions. He’s four; that’s his job. Normally, this isn’t an issue. I enjoy his inquisitive nature and encourage his curiosity.